TORN

Coming up with the words to write this blog has been really difficult for me as we say good-bye to 2009.

So I was trying to think of the best word to describe 2009. As I look back at the year that is behind us now I am torn with emotions of both good and bad. You would think that I would be glad to say good-bye to 2009 but sadly I am not. It was the best year and the worst year of my life. It was a year filled with the highest highs in giving birth to my babies and the lowest lows in having to say good-bye to my sweet angel Kapri. We have had such joy in watching Landon grow and develop. He is amazing and still continues to lift me up when I feel like I’m dying inside. I am sad to say good-bye to 2009 as that is the only year in which Kapri was here on earth with us.

As time passes by I often find myself lost in thought of what would it be like if Kapri were here now. Would she be as strong as Landon…as vocal or active? Would she want me to hold her and rock her to sleep? What foods would she like? Would she be rolling over and grabbing everything? I miss her with every ounce of my being and I am sad that Landon will never know his twin sister.

We want to thank all of our family and friends who loved and supported us over the last year. We could not have done it without you. So it is with sadness that we say good-bye to 2009 and close that chapter of the book. We are looking forward to 2010 and hope that it will be a year filled with only great memories.

We had a busy month of December.

In our journey with Kapri we were introduced to the Chez Family. We did not get a chance to meet face to face until this last month. Terra Chez invited me out to spend time with her and the other Heart Moms in her group. They were all amazing and I was so touched by their kindness. They gave me a beautiful heart necklace with Kapri's name on it and it says "Always in my heart". It was really touching to meet all of them...they are an amazing group of women who have been brought together through the worst circumstances. I am so sad it took me loosing Kapri to meet them.

My heart has been heavy for the Chez's as they have been in the hospital with their new baby Abigail as she undergoes her second open heart surgery. They are wonderful people and I pray for their family to have strength for all that they have been through and are going through at this time.

Dinner with the heart moms.

My Girlfriend Lisa from Texas also sent me a beautiful necklace with Landon and Kapri's name on it...thank you so much for this wonderful gift that I will cherish always.

Landon has been growing like a weed. He has 2 teeth now so we have been calling him 2fers.




He is getting ready to crawl any day now so it's the calm before the storm.
He can pull himself up and stand using stationary items.

Landon was getting too big for the sink so he started taking baths in the tub using rubber ducky (thanks Kristin and Baby Ella for the ducky). He loves taking baths in his new tub.



We went to Mira's Birthday party



We saw Santa in the Park... and took pictures. It seems that the pictures are missing. Just imagine Landon crying and Santa was big and Jolly in a red suit.

We had the family over for Christmas Eve dinner and we let Landon open a few gifts from the family.



The Cousins Chad, Tyler and Landon




I think this was the first baby that Chad has ever held.



He saw the gifts and wanted to eat the strings



It was Landon's first Christmas so we bought him lots of toys.



Daddy and son hanging out watching TV



He had fun with the Snyder's on Christmas day but after a long day he was just too tired so he took a cat nap on mommy (this was my Christmas present)


Eric, Landon and Grandma Snyder



We went to Uncle Andy's for dinner one night. This is Eric, Landon, Kurt and Reo.



Uncle Andy took us up to Ventura for the night. We had a great time going out to dinner with the family.

Grandma and Grandpa Snyder



Eric's Family and Nana's mom from Japan.